Just a quick update.
Im done with Taxol weekly. Have been done for a few weeks with that, and I have realized that taxol was what I was allergic to, because I have still been doing herceptin and my rash is gone. Thats a relief.
I will be doing herceptin every three weeks until July. Its not so bad...time consuming but ok. I will also start tamoxifen this week. This is the medication that will block estrogen and progesterone hormones from producing. (I think)
My hair is stubbles. Not thick yet, but it is starting to grow somewhat.. so theres always something to look forward to! :)
I have had the discussion (again) to clarify about my ability to conceive. My doctor said that it is somewhat possible, but he would not recommend it now. In fact, he says if I got pregnant in next few years, he would encourage abortion. (Terrible!) Because I will now be on tamoxifin for 5 years, I will most likely be infertile. And even if I am not, he would not want me to get pregnant for roughly 4 years. If I did decide to try to concieve after that time, it poses a risk of cancer reoccurance because of the increase in estrogen and progesterone levels during and after pregnancy. (Remember, I am estrogen and progesterone positive, meaning my cancer spreads more when there are those hormones present)
So I have succumbed to the fact that biologically, I am finished. I know that I am lucky that I have my children, but its still sad. I wish I had known that Paxon would be my last pregnancy and delivery. I would have cherished it more.
Theres always the adoption option and we really, really consider that. We have always considered it, even before this situation. But international adoptions require cancer patients to be in remission for 5 years before even being able to start the paperwork. That would mean it will be 7 or 8 years before we would be actually adopting. We may look into adopting domestically, from the foster care system. Who knows? Sometimes I am scared for the children I have now, scared that they may not have their mom around forever. I know as time goes on, our path will become abundantly clear. Sometimes waiting for that kills me. Id like to know right now what our future holds.
Last week, I had bronchitis. It wiped me out. I was actually super scared that I had pneumonia. I know that I am a little skiddish, but if I am sick, I want to fix it quickly so it doesnt get so bad that it is unfixable.
Im better now. Back to chasing kids and cleaning messes! :) Back to the stuff I live for.
