Wednesday, March 30, 2011
March 30th 2011 (My 28th BDAY)
I am going to attempt to blog today to keep everyone informed with what is up lately. First off, I am home. I came home Sunday March 27th. I was very very sore at first, and still am to some extent. The first few days I could not get up, sit up or even adjust my butt without someone helping me. It is amazing how much you use your arms and muscles in your chest, that you never would think of. I am on percocet and valium and cephelexa. I take the pain killers every 4 hours and then I often feel drowsy and out of it. (This has been main reason why I havent blogged yet, because I start to think about blogging, and I drift off to sleep) I have been lucky to have my mom here with me, and my kids have gone to the babysitter like usual. My mom has helped me bathe (yes, very awkward at 27 to have to have your mom sponge bathe you....eeeks!), feed me, clean my house, make sure I take my meds and slept with me. I have appreciated her a lot. Right now, I have drains (4 of them) that are stitched under my breasts that are to release any extra drainage and to prevent from infection. They are a pain in the butt!!!! I cant wait to get rid of them! They obviously have some weight to them, and if they are dropped while standing, they pull on my stitch and KILL!! Also, if they are accidently pulled, they hurt as well. I cant wait to get rid of them, and then I will feel much more up to par. I believe right now, they will be removed Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. I have to wear something with pockets to shove the drain "bulbs" in. Its not pretty. Mostly I am just chillin in pjs. Heres what happened during the surgery: Mastectomy took place first. Dr. Hamling came out and talked to Dan and my parents afterwards and told them that there was no lymph node involvement. Although, they initially thought it was only in stage one, my nirse told me today over the phone that it was just slightly over stage 1, and considerred stage 2. Also, although they had thought previously that it was grade 2, it was actually grade 3. We are waiting back on the results from the oncotype testing. This test gives a score. The higher the score, the higher the recurrance of the cancer. The higher the score, the more likely I will have to have chemo. I am eager to know these results...HOWEVER, if they are high, I would rather not know for awhile. I dont want to be stressing about chemo yet. I know a lot of you women are wondering what my breasts are like. I am not shy, so guys, if you dont wanna know, STOP READING. They are scarred, pretty much all the way across them. But there are still very round (although small) mounds. I am not upset about what they look like, like I thought I would be. I think the scars will heal ok. And someday I am gonna have huge round ones when I am sixty and most of you girls have dirty gym socks tucked into your belts. LOL. Just kidding. They are very very sore, and tender to the touch. Remember there are small "pouches" in each breast that they will start filling with saline in about two weeks. Every week, I will go down to Des Moines to meet with the plastic surgeon to have more saline added until I am satisfied with the looks and size. Then I will have another surgery to replace the "pouch" with silicone implants. In about a month, I will have to start treatment. That may be chemo, hormonal therapy or Her2. We dont know which route we are taking yet. In a few weeks, I will meet with my oncologist, and we will determine our course of action. Right now I am hopeful. I think things are getting better. I am not down, depressed or discouraged. I actually think that I am very blessed and lucky.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
March 26th 2011
Yeah, yeah, yeah! I cant stay off the computer, even when I am in the hospital. But give me a break, this isnt the most entertaining place to be. I have to have something to do to keep my sanity.
Heres how everything has gone so far:
Thursday, I got here at 930, and was expected to go into surgery at 1030, but they must have been behind or had operating rooms occupied bc I didnt go into surgery til 1130. It was not fun to wait that long, and just caused me to have so much more anxiety.
When I got into the operating room, all I can remember is them switching me onto the other bed, and thats it. I woke up in the brightest lit room I think I have ever experienced. I was in the recovery room. I finally got to my hospital room at 630.
I was very sore, and sooo out of it Thursday night. My parents and Dan were here, and they told me that everything went great. There was no involvement in my lymph nodes, so that is a great thing. It had been seven hours since I had seen them so I think that they were relieved to see that I was ok...I cant imagine waiting that long for a loved one to get out of surgery. I would be going nuts. But the doctors were great and each came out to tell them how each surgery went.
My friend Ericka came Thursday night and brought Dan something to eat (Thanks, Ericka!). I feel bad bc I was still soo groggy and I couldnt even really see straight. I ended up passing out while she was here.
Thursday and Friday I had a hard time just being able to sit up by myself and bc they were pumping me full of so many fluids, Dan had to help me go to the bathroom only about 30 times. Hes been such a trooper. I couldnt do ANYTHING really without his help. Thats kinda hard for me, since I want to be able to do everything myself. I hate to be a real inconvenience to him or anyone.
Friday, I rested still. Although I couldnt and still cant sleep for long periods of time. Each time I would wake up, I would push my morphine button to get some more relief. I dont know how exactly to explain how it feels. I am very sore, and feel kinda swolen but its not a full throttle pain, like you would expect. I cant move my arms as well as I want to, but Im getting better even with that slowly. Friday afternoon, they took me off morphine, and started me on oral pain killers.
We have had wonderful nurses and staff. Everyone is so very nice and caring. We also have a friend who is a nurse manager...I am not sure what her title is for sure, but she had told the nurses before we got up here to treat me like royalty. Lol. I appreciate it so much.
Friday evening, my friend Tracy came to see me. We joked around and it was nice to have her here. I dont feel as bad as I thought I would and visitors are nice to just keep me entertained. My cousin, Brandon and his wife, Abbey came Friday evening too, bringing Dan tons of food and me some sweatpants and cute slippers. It was all very thoughtful and kind. I had a good time catching up and talking to them.
In the night, last night, I was determined to get out of bed and go to the bathroom and walk around without having to have Dan help me. So I maneuvered a way to get out of bed myself. I even took a walk around the halls.
I feel like I am doing really well. But the pain killers could be tricking me. Who knows? I am still not sure if I will leave today or tomorrow. I would personally like to stay another night, even though its boring, but would like to give myself a little more time to heal and get stronger before going home to my chaos. But I also miss my babies. We will see.
Heres how everything has gone so far:
Thursday, I got here at 930, and was expected to go into surgery at 1030, but they must have been behind or had operating rooms occupied bc I didnt go into surgery til 1130. It was not fun to wait that long, and just caused me to have so much more anxiety.
When I got into the operating room, all I can remember is them switching me onto the other bed, and thats it. I woke up in the brightest lit room I think I have ever experienced. I was in the recovery room. I finally got to my hospital room at 630.
I was very sore, and sooo out of it Thursday night. My parents and Dan were here, and they told me that everything went great. There was no involvement in my lymph nodes, so that is a great thing. It had been seven hours since I had seen them so I think that they were relieved to see that I was ok...I cant imagine waiting that long for a loved one to get out of surgery. I would be going nuts. But the doctors were great and each came out to tell them how each surgery went.
My friend Ericka came Thursday night and brought Dan something to eat (Thanks, Ericka!). I feel bad bc I was still soo groggy and I couldnt even really see straight. I ended up passing out while she was here.
Thursday and Friday I had a hard time just being able to sit up by myself and bc they were pumping me full of so many fluids, Dan had to help me go to the bathroom only about 30 times. Hes been such a trooper. I couldnt do ANYTHING really without his help. Thats kinda hard for me, since I want to be able to do everything myself. I hate to be a real inconvenience to him or anyone.
Friday, I rested still. Although I couldnt and still cant sleep for long periods of time. Each time I would wake up, I would push my morphine button to get some more relief. I dont know how exactly to explain how it feels. I am very sore, and feel kinda swolen but its not a full throttle pain, like you would expect. I cant move my arms as well as I want to, but Im getting better even with that slowly. Friday afternoon, they took me off morphine, and started me on oral pain killers.
We have had wonderful nurses and staff. Everyone is so very nice and caring. We also have a friend who is a nurse manager...I am not sure what her title is for sure, but she had told the nurses before we got up here to treat me like royalty. Lol. I appreciate it so much.
Friday evening, my friend Tracy came to see me. We joked around and it was nice to have her here. I dont feel as bad as I thought I would and visitors are nice to just keep me entertained. My cousin, Brandon and his wife, Abbey came Friday evening too, bringing Dan tons of food and me some sweatpants and cute slippers. It was all very thoughtful and kind. I had a good time catching up and talking to them.
In the night, last night, I was determined to get out of bed and go to the bathroom and walk around without having to have Dan help me. So I maneuvered a way to get out of bed myself. I even took a walk around the halls.
I feel like I am doing really well. But the pain killers could be tricking me. Who knows? I am still not sure if I will leave today or tomorrow. I would personally like to stay another night, even though its boring, but would like to give myself a little more time to heal and get stronger before going home to my chaos. But I also miss my babies. We will see.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
March 23 2011
This is gonna be it for awhile (a week?) for the blog.
I have pretty bad anxiety today, so much that I am getting slightly physically sick.
Tomorrow is the big day!
Ive looked down at my chest a few times today and said goodbye to the girls. I let them know how much I appreciated their help getting Dans attention, and then later, feeding my children.
Man, I will miss them! (yes, I did actually say this to them.....cancer affects not just the cells in my breast, but also in my brain! :) )
But really, I am very scared today. Tomorrow will be worse, and when I wake up from the surgery, I can imagine it will be even more terrifying, and somewhat painful.
Over all, today, I am overwhelmed, anxious, nervous, terrified...but I am not as mad or angry. I still have a hard time about WHY this is happening now, but know that it is and I cant stop it.
I need to say thank you to so many people that have supported me and prayed for me and my family. I really appreciate it and feel very loved. (Also, I have actually been able to pray today.... Im that scared... I know I need His help, care and love throughout all this!)
I have pretty bad anxiety today, so much that I am getting slightly physically sick.
Tomorrow is the big day!
Ive looked down at my chest a few times today and said goodbye to the girls. I let them know how much I appreciated their help getting Dans attention, and then later, feeding my children.
Man, I will miss them! (yes, I did actually say this to them.....cancer affects not just the cells in my breast, but also in my brain! :) )
But really, I am very scared today. Tomorrow will be worse, and when I wake up from the surgery, I can imagine it will be even more terrifying, and somewhat painful.
Over all, today, I am overwhelmed, anxious, nervous, terrified...but I am not as mad or angry. I still have a hard time about WHY this is happening now, but know that it is and I cant stop it.
I need to say thank you to so many people that have supported me and prayed for me and my family. I really appreciate it and feel very loved. (Also, I have actually been able to pray today.... Im that scared... I know I need His help, care and love throughout all this!)
Monday, March 21, 2011
MARCH 21 2011
Today I got a message from my nurse, Niki, at Dr Duvens office. They had originally forgot to test my labs for HER2. The results came back today positive. I will admit I dont truly understand Her2. But it means that I have an additional set of treatments/ form of therapy after chemo is over. I also know that these type of tumors tend to grow and spread more quickly than tumors that are not Her2 positive.
Today, I am feeling overwhelmed, and getting more scared. For the most part, cancer has been something I have been talking about but very soon (2 days) will be something that is taking over my body, my time, my life.
I know I can and will get through this time, but its not something that I want to HAVE to. I complain to friends and family about how unhappy I am that I have to have mutilated boobs (yes, this is how I phrase it...mutilated!) and I always get the same damn response, "but at least you will be alive!" Ok, really, is this supposed to make me feel better? At 27, I have to decide between having boobs or living!!!??! Really?! It seems very unfair. And I am getting bitter. (Can you tell?)
Today, I was beginning to have a mini- breakdown at work so left early and drove right to a hair salon. I told the girl that I was having a mid life crisis and wanted to dye and chop my hair. And thats what she did. (Stupid, Val! Stop doing things impulsively....I never learn that lesson.) When I went to pick the kids up, Pax scrunched up his face like he was disgusted. I said, "Pax you dont like my hair?" And he shook his head, with the same repulsed look on his face. Well, at least that made me laugh. I thought, "boy, arent you just like your father?" I can imagine Dan will have a similar reaction when he sees that I chopped my long hair. Oh well, he will probably see me with much less hair and unfortunately will have to deal with it.
I have had a hard time crying...its just not something I have allowed myself to do. Is that weird? When I start to feel like I could cry, I almost get mad at myself and dont allow myself to let the tears fall. Its like, although, I think everything is very unfair, I am more mad than sad. I feel like I had gotten harder, less emotional.
Today, I am feeling overwhelmed, and getting more scared. For the most part, cancer has been something I have been talking about but very soon (2 days) will be something that is taking over my body, my time, my life.
I know I can and will get through this time, but its not something that I want to HAVE to. I complain to friends and family about how unhappy I am that I have to have mutilated boobs (yes, this is how I phrase it...mutilated!) and I always get the same damn response, "but at least you will be alive!" Ok, really, is this supposed to make me feel better? At 27, I have to decide between having boobs or living!!!??! Really?! It seems very unfair. And I am getting bitter. (Can you tell?)
Today, I was beginning to have a mini- breakdown at work so left early and drove right to a hair salon. I told the girl that I was having a mid life crisis and wanted to dye and chop my hair. And thats what she did. (Stupid, Val! Stop doing things impulsively....I never learn that lesson.) When I went to pick the kids up, Pax scrunched up his face like he was disgusted. I said, "Pax you dont like my hair?" And he shook his head, with the same repulsed look on his face. Well, at least that made me laugh. I thought, "boy, arent you just like your father?" I can imagine Dan will have a similar reaction when he sees that I chopped my long hair. Oh well, he will probably see me with much less hair and unfortunately will have to deal with it.
I have had a hard time crying...its just not something I have allowed myself to do. Is that weird? When I start to feel like I could cry, I almost get mad at myself and dont allow myself to let the tears fall. Its like, although, I think everything is very unfair, I am more mad than sad. I feel like I had gotten harder, less emotional.
Friday, March 18, 2011
March 18th
OK, so Im starting to get bummed.
Up until yesterday, I have been able to joke around about how I am gonna get implants and a blond wig and pretend Im Pamela Anderson. Man, Dan will LOVE this!! HA! :)
Yesterday, I went to the plastic surgeons office to have my consult before surgery next week. I will admit that I was kinda even excited about this appointment. But when I went there, I was in for a little bit of a shock. I asked to be able to see pictures of reconstructive surgeries done previously. It was about 1230, and I hadnt ate lunch....And Im glad I hadnt! I felt kinda sick. I dont think I realized or even began to imagine how RAW a mastectomy is. I didnt realize how much time and pain this is going to involve.
Since yesterday I have kinda been bummed. Surgery is starting to freak me out and Ive had a hard time sleeping. I am exhausted and I dont know if its emotionally, physically or mentally.
Thats me today. Dont even feel like writing much because my attitude stinks today!
It will get better, I know it.
Up until yesterday, I have been able to joke around about how I am gonna get implants and a blond wig and pretend Im Pamela Anderson. Man, Dan will LOVE this!! HA! :)
Yesterday, I went to the plastic surgeons office to have my consult before surgery next week. I will admit that I was kinda even excited about this appointment. But when I went there, I was in for a little bit of a shock. I asked to be able to see pictures of reconstructive surgeries done previously. It was about 1230, and I hadnt ate lunch....And Im glad I hadnt! I felt kinda sick. I dont think I realized or even began to imagine how RAW a mastectomy is. I didnt realize how much time and pain this is going to involve.
Since yesterday I have kinda been bummed. Surgery is starting to freak me out and Ive had a hard time sleeping. I am exhausted and I dont know if its emotionally, physically or mentally.
Thats me today. Dont even feel like writing much because my attitude stinks today!
It will get better, I know it.
Friday, March 11, 2011
March 11 2011
GREAT NEWS TODAY!!
I got the call from my nurse at Dr. Duvens office this afternoon with my genetic testing results! I do not carry the gene that causes cancer!
This means sooo much to me...Its crazy the things that make you happy when you have been diagnosed with cancer.
One: I dont have to worry about my sister and my kids (as much).
Two: I dont have to worry as much about this recurring somewhere else in my body.
Three: I get to keep my ovaries.
So that was a good way to start my weekend!
Just keeping everyone updated!
I got the call from my nurse at Dr. Duvens office this afternoon with my genetic testing results! I do not carry the gene that causes cancer!
This means sooo much to me...Its crazy the things that make you happy when you have been diagnosed with cancer.
One: I dont have to worry about my sister and my kids (as much).
Two: I dont have to worry as much about this recurring somewhere else in my body.
Three: I get to keep my ovaries.
So that was a good way to start my weekend!
Just keeping everyone updated!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
March 10 (continued)
I realized in my last blog, I didnt mention that my surgery date has changed to March 24th at Methodist West in Des Moines. It was originally set for March 17th, in Waterloo. Thats no longer the case.
March 10th 2011
I have made the decision to get a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. (I dont want this crap to come back and take over my life again...I have kids to raise and I want to be there for EVERYTHING for them, not laid up in bed after treatment) Because I want reconstructive surgery, my doctor has recommended a plastic surgeon in Des Moines. Since I will be there, another surgeon at the Cancer Center there will first perform my mastectomy and immediately after the plastic surgeon will do the reconstruction.
Yesterday I had my consult with the breast care doctor/ surgoen, Dr. Scott Hamling in Des Moines. He explained that with doing a mastectomy, I am lowering my chance of the cancer recurring to less than 1%. If I had a lumpectomy, the chances of recurrence would be roughly 14%. Because the MRI came back showing no signs of cancer in my lymph nodes (we dont know this for sure until after surgery), he feels that there is a chance I could be 100% cured after surgery. He made me much more hopeful.
We are still waiting results from the genetic testing to see if I carry the BRCA1 gene. If I do, we may be removing my ovaries.
I have a small chance that I may not need chemotherapy. I am praying and hoping for that.
Yesterday I had my consult with the breast care doctor/ surgoen, Dr. Scott Hamling in Des Moines. He explained that with doing a mastectomy, I am lowering my chance of the cancer recurring to less than 1%. If I had a lumpectomy, the chances of recurrence would be roughly 14%. Because the MRI came back showing no signs of cancer in my lymph nodes (we dont know this for sure until after surgery), he feels that there is a chance I could be 100% cured after surgery. He made me much more hopeful.
We are still waiting results from the genetic testing to see if I carry the BRCA1 gene. If I do, we may be removing my ovaries.
I have a small chance that I may not need chemotherapy. I am praying and hoping for that.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
March 5th
Tuesday I had a MRI. It was a little nerve racking, lying in that LOUD machine without moving for a half hour. When they administered the dye, I felt nausous for about 45 seconds, and my thoughts were "Oh no! Im gonna throw up all over myself!" But it quickly went away.
The results were sent to Cedar Rapids to be read and they were supposed to take 2 days to get back.
Wednesday afternoon, Niki, my nurse at Dr. Duvens office called with the results. The MRI showed that it doesnt appear to have spread to my lymph nodes. (ALLELUIA!) But testing that they ran at the time of the biopsy whether or not my cancer is reactive to the female hormones, estrogen and progesterone came back very positive. What this means, she explained, is that I will need hormonal treatments while taking chemo and this will essentially cause me to go into menopause. Also, we may consider removing my ovaries to prevent from ovarian cancer.
So, my dreams of another baby, biologically, are over. Its sad to know that. I know that it may not have happened again without the cancer, but the certainty that I will not be pregnant again, is sad.
Of course, I am very very blessed with the children that I do have. God does work in miraculous, intentional ways. Alayna was not planned by us, and Paxon came only 14 months after Alayna. I know most people probably thought we were crazy having kids so quickly and so close together. I am soo thankful that we did. Without kids now, I would be a DISASTER. My life purpose has always been to be a mom. Its all that I dreamed of being when I "grew up" so I am very lucky for my babies.
Thursday, Dan, my mom and I met with Dr Duven to discuss the MRI and what my options are. I also did a quick genetic testing to see if I carried the gene that causes cancer.
My options now are:
Lumpectomy: Just removing the area where the cancer is right now. That would be followed by radiation therapy and chemotherapy and the hormonal therapy.
Mastectomy on just my left side: Removing my left breast all together. Followed by chemotherapy and hormonal therapy.
Double (bilateral) mastectomy: Removing both breasts. Followed by chemo and hormonal therapy. This will be recommended if genetic tests come back positive.
With the mastectomy, I can get reconstructive surgery. They will never look the same. And it will be weird. But really, the whole situation is strange and will be to me (and my family) for quite awhile.
Everyone asks how Im doing. Im doing ok. Really the first day, just getting the news, was the hardest. Now I just need to do what I need to to get rid of it and deal with it. Ive been so busy with work, doctor visits (4 this week!) and my kids that I havent had time to sit and feel bad for myself. Yes, Im gonna potentially lose my breasts, but really I lost the beauty of them after breast feeding. :) I understand Im not gonna like how my chest looks for the rest of my life...and I am deep down concerned of how Dan will view my body. I think that is normal. Yes, Im gonna lose my hair, probably even my eyebrows. I will look weird. But everyone who is anyone in my life will understand and still (hopefully) love me. And it will grow back.
I am concerned about how Dan is. He is so quiet. I think hes taking it harder than me. Also, he is scared to talk to me about his fears. He doesnt want to scare me.
I am scared of how this will affect my kids, so I need the rest of my family to be really strong for THEM. We need to explain to them how Mommy will be sick, how I will lose my hair bc of the medicine the doctors are using to make me better, and how I am going to be better someday. It will be very hard for me, on that end....that I wont be able to physically take care of my kids when I have treatments or surgery. I got online this morning and bought some books specifically for children that helps explain whats going on with Mommy. (I couldnt sleep, thinking about what I should do to help them) Last night, I tied a pillowcase around my head (it was pink so it looked gorgeous) to show Alexa what I would look like. She thought it was funny. I wore it most of the night. Alexa wanted one too.
Next step right now is just get the genetic testing back and go from there. My surgery is still set up for March 17th but depending on what we decide, it may be changed a little bit.
All I need now is prayers and I know we are getting a lot of those. Its hard for me to pray right now. I can pray for others, but I havent been able to yet about this diagnosis.
I have a lot of support and am thankful for that. I do feel very loved. I guess something like this helps you realize that.
The results were sent to Cedar Rapids to be read and they were supposed to take 2 days to get back.
Wednesday afternoon, Niki, my nurse at Dr. Duvens office called with the results. The MRI showed that it doesnt appear to have spread to my lymph nodes. (ALLELUIA!) But testing that they ran at the time of the biopsy whether or not my cancer is reactive to the female hormones, estrogen and progesterone came back very positive. What this means, she explained, is that I will need hormonal treatments while taking chemo and this will essentially cause me to go into menopause. Also, we may consider removing my ovaries to prevent from ovarian cancer.
So, my dreams of another baby, biologically, are over. Its sad to know that. I know that it may not have happened again without the cancer, but the certainty that I will not be pregnant again, is sad.
Of course, I am very very blessed with the children that I do have. God does work in miraculous, intentional ways. Alayna was not planned by us, and Paxon came only 14 months after Alayna. I know most people probably thought we were crazy having kids so quickly and so close together. I am soo thankful that we did. Without kids now, I would be a DISASTER. My life purpose has always been to be a mom. Its all that I dreamed of being when I "grew up" so I am very lucky for my babies.
Thursday, Dan, my mom and I met with Dr Duven to discuss the MRI and what my options are. I also did a quick genetic testing to see if I carried the gene that causes cancer.
My options now are:
Lumpectomy: Just removing the area where the cancer is right now. That would be followed by radiation therapy and chemotherapy and the hormonal therapy.
Mastectomy on just my left side: Removing my left breast all together. Followed by chemotherapy and hormonal therapy.
Double (bilateral) mastectomy: Removing both breasts. Followed by chemo and hormonal therapy. This will be recommended if genetic tests come back positive.
With the mastectomy, I can get reconstructive surgery. They will never look the same. And it will be weird. But really, the whole situation is strange and will be to me (and my family) for quite awhile.
Everyone asks how Im doing. Im doing ok. Really the first day, just getting the news, was the hardest. Now I just need to do what I need to to get rid of it and deal with it. Ive been so busy with work, doctor visits (4 this week!) and my kids that I havent had time to sit and feel bad for myself. Yes, Im gonna potentially lose my breasts, but really I lost the beauty of them after breast feeding. :) I understand Im not gonna like how my chest looks for the rest of my life...and I am deep down concerned of how Dan will view my body. I think that is normal. Yes, Im gonna lose my hair, probably even my eyebrows. I will look weird. But everyone who is anyone in my life will understand and still (hopefully) love me. And it will grow back.
I am concerned about how Dan is. He is so quiet. I think hes taking it harder than me. Also, he is scared to talk to me about his fears. He doesnt want to scare me.
I am scared of how this will affect my kids, so I need the rest of my family to be really strong for THEM. We need to explain to them how Mommy will be sick, how I will lose my hair bc of the medicine the doctors are using to make me better, and how I am going to be better someday. It will be very hard for me, on that end....that I wont be able to physically take care of my kids when I have treatments or surgery. I got online this morning and bought some books specifically for children that helps explain whats going on with Mommy. (I couldnt sleep, thinking about what I should do to help them) Last night, I tied a pillowcase around my head (it was pink so it looked gorgeous) to show Alexa what I would look like. She thought it was funny. I wore it most of the night. Alexa wanted one too.
Next step right now is just get the genetic testing back and go from there. My surgery is still set up for March 17th but depending on what we decide, it may be changed a little bit.
All I need now is prayers and I know we are getting a lot of those. Its hard for me to pray right now. I can pray for others, but I havent been able to yet about this diagnosis.
I have a lot of support and am thankful for that. I do feel very loved. I guess something like this helps you realize that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)