March 30th 2011 (My 28th BDAY)

I am going to attempt to blog today to keep everyone informed with what is up lately. First off, I am home. I came home Sunday March 27th. I was very very sore at first, and still am to some extent. The first few days I could not get up, sit up or even adjust my butt without someone helping me. It is amazing how much you use your arms and muscles in your chest, that you never would think of. I am on percocet and valium and cephelexa. I take the pain killers every 4 hours and then I often feel drowsy and out of it. (This has been main reason why I havent blogged yet, because I start to think about blogging, and I drift off to sleep) I have been lucky to have my mom here with me, and my kids have gone to the babysitter like usual. My mom has helped me bathe (yes, very awkward at 27 to have to have your mom sponge bathe you....eeeks!), feed me, clean my house, make sure I take my meds and slept with me. I have appreciated her a lot. Right now, I have drains (4 of them) that are stitched under my breasts that are to release any extra drainage and to prevent from infection. They are a pain in the butt!!!! I cant wait to get rid of them! They obviously have some weight to them, and if they are dropped while standing, they pull on my stitch and KILL!! Also, if they are accidently pulled, they hurt as well. I cant wait to get rid of them, and then I will feel much more up to par. I believe right now, they will be removed Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. I have to wear something with pockets to shove the drain "bulbs" in. Its not pretty. Mostly I am just chillin in pjs. Heres what happened during the surgery: Mastectomy took place first. Dr. Hamling came out and talked to Dan and my parents afterwards and told them that there was no lymph node involvement. Although, they initially thought it was only in stage one, my nirse told me today over the phone that it was just slightly over stage 1, and considerred stage 2. Also, although they had thought previously that it was grade 2, it was actually grade 3. We are waiting back on the results from the oncotype testing. This test gives a score. The higher the score, the higher the recurrance of the cancer. The higher the score, the more likely I will have to have chemo. I am eager to know these results...HOWEVER, if they are high, I would rather not know for awhile. I dont want to be stressing about chemo yet. I know a lot of you women are wondering what my breasts are like. I am not shy, so guys, if you dont wanna know, STOP READING. They are scarred, pretty much all the way across them. But there are still very round (although small) mounds. I am not upset about what they look like, like I thought I would be. I think the scars will heal ok. And someday I am gonna have huge round ones when I am sixty and most of you girls have dirty gym socks tucked into your belts. LOL. Just kidding. They are very very sore, and tender to the touch. Remember there are small "pouches" in each breast that they will start filling with saline in about two weeks. Every week, I will go down to Des Moines to meet with the plastic surgeon to have more saline added until I am satisfied with the looks and size. Then I will have another surgery to replace the "pouch" with silicone implants. In about a month, I will have to start treatment. That may be chemo, hormonal therapy or Her2. We dont know which route we are taking yet. In a few weeks, I will meet with my oncologist, and we will determine our course of action. Right now I am hopeful. I think things are getting better. I am not down, depressed or discouraged. I actually think that I am very blessed and lucky.