Its been about a week since my last blog. I think I am doing a bit better, emotionally, since then. I dont know how, exactly. I dont know if I have just accepted the fact that I have to do chemo...or if I have spent a lot of time NOT thinking about it. But after the first few days after receiving my oncotype results, I just turned off that part of my brain. I just stopped thinking about it.
Its been almost three weeks since my surgery and I am still very sore, almost in actual pain. I do think that maybe I do try to do too much, especially with my kids...but I hate not being able to do things, like lift up my kids. So I try to do it anyway....then pay for it later. Like today. I am SORE!
Yesterday, I kept the kids home from daycare so we could go to my friends home and take some "Mommy and Me" pics. (If you dont know, I have my kids photographed a TON by my friend, Michelle Stricker. Go to strickerphotography.co to see some of her work! Shes awesome) Well, anyway, kids werent having it! Both were super crabby, and Mom ended up that way too. Our pics werent too successful. My kids are also so familiar with Michelle that they feel comfortable being naughty in front of her too, so that didnt help.
Well, needless to say, the rest of the day was a struggle for me. With two little ones that just want to throw tantrums or hit eachother or fight over my lap, I was exhausted. I put DIEGO on at 7pm and fell asleep on the couch while they watched it. Wow! What a great mom!
I go next week for my first fill at Dr. Reeces office. I am looking forward to it sooo much. I am sooo sore on my chest and can only really feel the metal in the expanders. So when kids bump up against me, I just keep bruising in those spots. It is actually painful. So anyway, once I have more saline in there, hopefully, it will feel much better/ softer. I cant wait. April 26th, I meet with oncologist in Waterloo. We, then, plan out my treatment course. I am anxious to know, yet dreading to know what exactly I will be doing...or more so, WHEN I will be doing it.
So thats it for today. I have my baby blanket ("strawberry" is her name) on me and I am holding down the couch watching dvr-ed My Fair Wedding with David Tutera and trying to nap before kids get here and wear me out. Thanks for everyone's continued support and love!
PS. I am adding to my blog today just because I wanted to post what Alayna just told me as I was giving her some goldfish crackers. She looked up at me and out of the clear blue said, "Mom! I want your little boobies to get bigger!" Wow! My two year old!! I guess she misses the "old" me! I cant help but post that. I think its slightly hilarious coming from her mouth.
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