August 13 2011

Its been forever since I have wrote on here...
I think that cancer has become such an everyday, all day way of life for me lately, that I dont feel like there is much interesting to write on the subject.  And I have been very busy with Alaynas 3rd birthday in July, signing girls up for preschool and dance class and dr appts and chemo each week.
I am now doing taxol and herceptin each week. I have 9 more weeks left and hopefully I am all done with chemo forever!  For some reason, this drug just immediately knocks me out and I sleep through the whole 2-3 hours of treatment.  When I wake up, I feel so groggy the rest of that day. 
But overall this treatment is much much easier to take than the last.  I have more energy (not completely the same as not doing chemo), am not nauseous, and I have my taste buds back!  My hair is even starting to grow back but right now I look more like a q-tip than I want. :)  Heat still really gets me, and the day following treatment I always feel like I am burning up.  I have also had another round of staph infection a few weeks ago which I was worried about and have had reoccuring eye infections, and really dry eyes. 
But its really not that terrible.  Just looking forward to it being all over, getting my "real" implants and moving on from "having cancer."  There are days that its a little more overwhelming, emotionally.  Its hard to feel womanly when you dont have hair, dont have breasts, and in my case, have gained weight from lack of energy/ exercise.  I sometimes just long to pull my hair back in a ponytail.  It will be a LONG time before I can do that again.  But I am looking forward to it.
I go back to work in September, although I will not be finished with chemo.  I will work part time until chemo is done and Ive had my last reconstructive surgery sometime in November or December.  Whew! What a long process it all is. 
My kids are doing great, have always done great with it all...I think we did a great job of making the whole process seem everyday/ normal.  They never had much to worry about.  I am very blessed that they are so young.  Maybe they will not remember these days when they are older.