I heard the BEST song this week. Im Gonna Love You Through It, by Martina McBride. I listened to it over and over when I first found out about it (My friend Ashley had texted me and told me that she heard this song that reminded her of me). I cried as I listened to it, because I always do that with songs...
Later I was thinking about how much I cried over a song, and not over my real life situation. I was trying to figure out why I was/ am that way. I can cry for hours over a song or a movie but when it comes to living a situation that I can cry about in a song, I am perfectly fine and much stronger.
I think that the reason that I am ok with having cancer is because I have a purpose in life. My purpose is to be a wife and mother. Cancer hasnt taken that away from me, so I am still doing what I was made to do. Im not broken. My husband is loving and accepting and supportive. I dont love how I look, but I know that he is still here, accepting me and waiting this out with me. I love everyday with my kids. I love all the little moments from hearing one of them say a new word, the kids hugging and kissing (and mauling) eachother, big wide smiles, hearing them talk and giggle behind closed doors at bedtime...There is still so much good left in my life. I still have everything that I ever dreamed of having, and have the children and husband I have wanted since I was a child playing "house." And I am busy everyday with serving my purpose. My life hasnt stopped in anyway.
Thats why Im ok. Thats why I am not sitting, crying about my diagnosis, surgery or chemo. Ive still got God-given purpose.
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